The Myth of “Common Sense”

Lately, I’ve had a string of conversations that all seem to circle around the same core issue. People are struggling with boundaries, communication, and connection—whether that’s in the workplace or in their personal lives.

Here’s what I’m hearing:

• “I want to have friendships, but I’m scared to start the conversation.”

• “They’re crossing a line, but I don’t know how to bring it up.”

• “How do I tell someone what I really need without ruining the relationship?”

Sound familiar? We all reach those moments—those quiet, uncomfortable peaks where we’re called to step up, speak up, and take care of ourselves. And yet, we hesitate. Why? Because we haven’t always learned how.

The Myth of “Common Sense”

There’s a temptation to think, “This is just common sense.” But here’s the truth: what’s common to you might not be common to someone else. Whether we learned things at home, in school, on the job, or from mentors—our sense of what’s “obvious” comes from experience. And not everyone has had the same opportunities to build those skills.

So, when you find yourself wondering, “How do they not know this?”—pause. Breathe. Reflect.

Because maybe… they genuinely don’t.

Let’s Talk “Common Sense” in the Workplace

Maybe you're a manager thinking, “I can’t believe I have to talk to my team about being on time, or about being respectful to each other, or cleaning up after themselves.” And yet, here you are, having those conversations—again.

It’s frustrating. But also? It’s an essential part of leadership.

We coach. We mentor. We educate. And yes, sometimes it feels tedious. Sometimes it feels like you’re repeating the same thing over and over. But that’s the work. It’s what builds strong teams and better leaders.

And the best part? You’re not just helping someone meet the standard—you’re giving them tools they can use for life.

Respecting Boundaries at Work

One specific area where this “common sense” gap shows up often? Boundaries. Here's how it might look:

• Personal Space: Someone consistently uses a coworker’s desk or personal items without asking.

• Time: A team member sends messages after hours, expecting immediate replies.

• Emotional Privacy: A leader publicly asks about someone’s mental health leave.

• Workload: High performers get extra work simply because they’re reliable, not because they have capacity.

What do all of these have in common? A missed opportunity to recognize and respect someone else’s boundaries.

As leaders, it's our job to help identify these moments and coach our teams through them—not shame them, not ignore them, but support and educate.

The Power of the Fundamentals

If you’ve followed me for a while, you know that I believe in the fundamentals. You can’t build a great culture, a high-performing team, or a strategic people process if you haven’t mastered the basics first.

That means:

• Clear communication.

• Respectful relationships.

• Repeatable, reliable processes.

• Consistent coaching and feedback.

When business owners and leaders tell me they want higher efficiency, better engagement, or stronger teams—but they haven’t invested in the small, fundamental steps—I know we’ve got work to do. And that’s okay. Because those small steps are what accelerate growth.

Final Food for Thought

Give yourself some grace. Give your team some grace. Just because something seems like it should be common sense doesn’t mean it is—and that’s no one’s fault. That’s just a signal: it’s time to coach, to teach, and to lead with compassion.

So I’ll leave you with this: What’s something you’ve had to learn that seemed like it should be obvious? And what’s something you might now teach with more empathy and care?

I’d love to hear about it.

Dig deeper into this conversation by listening to the most recent episode of Work There Happy Podcast available on Spotify and Apple Music.